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Battery Powered Mystery Action

by John Dog

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1.
Fabulous Girl She thought that they would marry Til he was lured by something new And so, just like Carrie, She got drunk in some brand new shoes "Why did he go away?" "Why wouldn't anyone stay with a Fabulous Girl?" She throws away the paper Sometimes she can't believe her eyes She wonders what they pay her To betray and scandalise The famous and dumb, The MP and the "Supermum" And the Fabulous Girl Every day's a new barrage The street's a shifting, shock-collage The fever dreams of magazines That claim to celebrate Then cut her down to size 8 Are they so afraid of a girl who's made it? She was kinda happy To hear the pleading in his voice So now he wants to marry Now she'll have to make her choice Oh, I hope you stay true To your power to choose, Fabulous Girl
2.
When There Was A World Outside When there was a world outside Street signs all spelt out her name The day before the Martians came She looked and acted just the same But something weird was in her eyes When there was a world outside People smiled at them in the street Now zombies see something good to eat He watches tapes of old TV From before the signal died When there was a world outside She shook her head and that was that He bought some gin and trashed his flat He fell asleep with music on When he woke up The world was gone When there was a world outside Her perfume remained when she left his place This room adrift now in outer space A tenant of The Twilight Zone Picture a man froze up inside With a memory falsified Of when there was a world outside
3.
Often, my mother said: "It's good to have something to fall back on Should you land on your head, And all of the neighbours read it in the paper And point as they laugh themselves sick, Cos you asked for The Moon On A Stick" But young and foolish was I And anyway what would my Mam know Of my plans to capture the sky Well, long story short, I'm not an astronaut And the neighbours, they laughed themselves sick Cos I asked for The Moon On A Stick No, I don't mean to say that no-one should ever walk tall I don't sit there hoping the child will burst his balloon For pride precedes a leap as well as a fall There was death and disaster but those crazy bastards They did plant a stick in the moon On a warm night, out in the backyard You're watching as your little spaceman looks past you And up to the stars You watch him reach out with your heart in your mouth Cos he's learning, and he's learning quick To ask for the Moon On A Stick And you want him to, God help you Ask for the Moon on a Stick
4.
A Ghost Called Charlie Charlie The Ghost He likes to say that he is happiest most Just floating through the town when the rain is pouring down Cos being deceased The rain it doesn't bother him in the least He says it fills his heart with so much glee to see us clinging to our coats Charlie the Ghost, a ghost called Charlie And you know, he can't remember his real name! 'Charlie,' it just had a certain ring And, you know, he can't remember from whence he came He used to, but he let it go, Like he let go of everything Charlie the ghost He watched a couple settle down to a roast He'd soon forget his appetite with the inevitable fight But there wasn't a fight They watched the box and went to bed for the night And so he flew from sea to sea To find a couple trading blows Oh, anything at all Maybe a girl punched in the nose How he got like this Well, I doubt if heaven knows He's Charlie the Ghost A ghost called Charlie
5.
Let's pretend it's a game Let's pretend we've got nothing to lose Let's pretend we're the same Let's pretend I'm not frightened of you A man in love Is a fool is a liar with his pants on fire is a snake is a charmer is a chink in his own armour There's a wandering eye There's a wandering finger or two And I'm wondering why I'm here keeping my eye on you A man in love Is a priest is a drunk is a jealousy junkie, a con is a mark is a comfort in the dark Let's pretend it's a game that it's just a safari for you Then I'll treat it the same I'll be ready to run for you And when they dust off my bones in a few million years or so And they say "What's this creature?" I wonder will anyone know? A man in love Is a priest is a drunk is a jealousy junkie, a con is a mark is a comfort in the dark Is a fool is a liar with his pants on fire is a thug is a charmer Is a baby in your arms
6.
I guess I was too young when I died To know why you lie Do you even know why you lie? Summer breezes blow me down a filthy street in the kind of detail you should not repeat My mother's scared to answer the phone So please leave my bones alone With all your hounds still drunk overseas And summer to fill You know you were happy to see That the Crown was taking him down for trial I saw you make a mob and then pretend to hate them They descended on my photographs and ate them Wouldn't you think, with kids of their own That they'd leave my bones alone The jury had to see where I died You held the front page and twenty more inside Please tell me why the world had to hear each blow But then a junior minister and some young actor Were discovered snorting up some feelgood factor And only when their cover was blown Did you leave my bones alone
7.
I Know That Place There's a young man bragging in the barroom With a freshly cut tattoo And the tag still hanging on the leather jacket That he swore he got in world war II And he's saying now, while almost crying "Can't you tell by the look on my face?" He's the only one who doesn't know he's lying When he says: "I know that place" There's an older man smoking in the corner And when he smiles it's really not a smile And when he listens, he's not really listening In fact he finds you something of a trial For there's nothing you can tell him That he won't lick with distaste And for all the misfortune that befell him He's wrong to say: "I know that place" There's a young girl who works behind the counter And her mother's on the phone And it's not to say her mother doesn't want her Just to say it's still not safe to come home And I've never seen her crying And you sure couldn't tell from her face And I couldn't say if she is lying Cos she never says: "I know that place" No, she never says: "I know that place"
8.
In an hour or so The lie that I'm living And the cares of the day Won't bother me so They say it's a sin, but I will forgive them Yeah, the beer will kick in In an hour or so In an hour or so My smile will come easy All the folks will be dancing And I might have a go This bar dark and dim Will be bright and breezy Yeah, the beer will kick in In an hour or so And I won't even hate you I might even miss you some But only cos I have forgotten Not forgiven what you've done In an hour or so This everyday hurtin' These dullest of blues Will just get up and go There's not much in the world You can say for certain But the beer will kick in In an hour or so
9.
How can you be so scared and so elated? Everyone's angry, everything's so loud Whoever you thought you were has dissipated You're nobody in the thrilling and maddening crowd Your mother she warned you or at least she tried to That Satan himself would meet you at the train But no-one looks down to judge you or to guide you Be a saint or a sinner, no-one here knows your name Who do you want to be now? With all that this city allows? There's no right and no wrong, Just how much and how long You buy or you sell then you hurry along You can't afford the price upon the label You can't afford to walk inside the store You'd buy all the pretty things if you were able Do you remember a time when you wanted something more? Who do you want to be now? With all that this city allows? There's no wrong and no right There's no apple to bite Just things that you have and the things that you might Mother she warned you Or at least she tried to
10.
Bells are ringing Or so they said Angels are singing, alright In my head Manhattan could be a mountain of snow It could be Christmas outside - I don't know I've got all I need I don't have to ask twice You may wonder, indeed, If she's naughty or nice Wrapped now in neither a ribbon nor bow It could be Christmas outside - I don't know I suppose we could go for a walk in the Park And watch as Fifth Avenue twinkles and glows But I'd rather stay here where it's warm and it's dark And replay that night When you stepped on my toe On Amsterdam Avenue If I saw you, girl I'd wanna lose track of time In this funny world Some fools say that's a crime But if they saw those eyes And that chestnut hair It could be Christmas outside - they wouldn't care
11.
It's the time of the night when they're dropping like flies Girls are grabbing their fellas and saying "goodbye" To you and I But there isn't a chance of us packing it in Half the potions we swallowed are just kicking in Then the music begins "Like Keith or Brian, like Jimi or Gram You wouldn't believe how wasted I am, I raised a toast then spilled the most of it Over that uptight cow when she said: 'Rock and Roll won't save you now' Rock and Roll won't save you now" She appeared to be listening but stared at the ground While we were telling our stories of drinking it down And falling around So as she put on her coat and was leaving the room, she said: "You better be careful, boys, or soon you could become cartoons Isn't it time you start acting your age? They only applaud old wasters on stage Maybe you can turn it round, It's just baby, I don't see how if you believe Rock and roll will save you now, Cos Rock and roll won't save you now"

about

This album is for The Princess

Cover illustration and design by Kellie Strom. www.balsko.com

All songs written and arranged by Raymond Butler and performed by John Dog, except:

Who Do You Want To Be Now?, strings arranged and performed by Paul Harvey. www.myspace.com/pistachiodreamer

Leave My Bones Alone, arranged by Paul Harvey and Raymond Butler, marimba, strings and random percussion performed by Paul Harvey.

Fabulous Girl and It Could Be Christmas, cello performed by Paul Harvey.

In An Hour Or So, mandolins arranged and performed by Steve Daley

credits

released February 4, 2011

Special thanks to The Listeners: Hugh & Pauline Tynan, Morgan Mee, Jim Fitzpatrick, Kellie Strom and Stephen Walsh.

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John Dog Galway, Ireland

John Dog is a singer and songwriter from Galway, Ireland. A true believer in the popular song, his own are often wordy, arguably tuneful, occasionally funny, and usually short.

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